i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
