worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
