i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
