you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
