This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Congratulations! We have a period
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