you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
3pm strippers are depressing
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
