Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
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I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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