this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
