Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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