Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
