the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
