My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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