I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
