Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
