i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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