I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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