Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize