I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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