I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
