His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
