How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I enjoy the company of your penis
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
