So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
