like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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