And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
