Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
