pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
