I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
