sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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