how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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