check it out our google latitudes are spooning
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
