and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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