need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
