im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
