Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
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its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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