Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
