I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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