He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
