FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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