Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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