We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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