All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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