haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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