get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
