Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
