miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
