After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
