how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
