You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
