the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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