I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
