i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
