My first STD was from a foam party
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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