if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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