i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she smelled like a LAN party
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
