So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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