what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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