I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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