Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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