Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
