I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish i was in the wii world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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